Self-love Guidelines + Discipline

Thanks to all those who are here for the self-love challenge. I love you almost as much as I plan to love myself by the end of May. Genesis and I are excited that you are taking this amazing step with us.

Here are a few daily guidelines for this mystical self-love challenge. In order to love ourselves fiercely, we must change our mindset. This is a conscious and consistent effort. Psychologists say that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so we figured 30 days was more than enough to foster self-love. Daily, we have committed to things that we feel will make us greater. These things can be altered and tailored to fit your personal needs and style. Just promise me that you’ll create these guidelines with the same end goal that we have in mind: unapologetic self-love.

  1. Affirmations. These are personal. Who and how would you like to be? Think about this. Write your affirmations down and verbally declare them every day. Shout them at the top of your lungs if you have to; no judgment here. I find that this works best while looking in the mirror. Visualize the best version of yourself, no matter how outlandish it may seem. Changing your mindset by claiming only positive things about yourself can change your life. Speak it into existence! You’ve got this!
  2. Prayer + Meditation. Do you. You don’t have to be ‘religious’ to take this step. The whole point here is mindfulness. Be present. Be connected to something. For me, that something is God, because I know he loves when I hit him up just to chat. Praying daily restores my hope, and it helps me to relinquish control, because God knows that I can be a control-freak. When it comes to meditation, don’t overthink it. Just take 2-10 minutes to take a step back from your daily grind. For beginners, I found this guide that can help you get started. I have also used the app, Headspace for guided meditation (Shoutout to Andy!). Find your quiet place, and relax. Think. It is important to note that both prayer and meditation promote inner peace. You can’t love yourself without loving your mind.
  3. Gratitudes. It’s so easy to complain. A lot. I’ll admit that this has always been a struggle of mine. However, the older I get, the more I realize that for every complaint, there is a gratitude. Trust me, life can always get worse, so neglecting to acknowledge the good can leave you in a constant state of disappointment. My motto is, ‘expect nothing, and be grateful for everything.’ Write down three gratitudes daily. What are you thankful for? Nothing is insignificant here. Heck, I’m thankful for my body pillow. It’s bae!
  4. Learning. I used to read for leisure. I have been searching for years for an excuse for why I actually stopped. Ya’ll know I love excuses. Most of us do (So, stop fronting!). We’re never too busy to learn something new. I’m not saying  that you should go cash out at Barnes and Noble, but an online article won’t hurt. Making it a point to learn something new every day cultivates your mind. I used reading as an example, but there are so many other ways to learn. Have a conversation with a stranger. Ask an expert for advice on a subject that you lack knowledge in; take up a hobby and work at it every day.


I cannot believe I am up at six o’clock in the morning to write. It feels liberating, and with every word, I am considering this as a new habit. Everyday is a blank page, and there is just something about writing as soon as you wake up. Your mind is free and your heart feels pure. Besides the fact that this is the only time I will have to complete a blog post today, this is where discipline comes into play.

This week, Genesis and I will focus on discipline. Not only do I need a serious dose of it to be engaged and mentally active this early, but discipline is also crucial in making my dreams a reality.

Disciplinenoun  dis·ci·pline  \ˈdi-sə-plən\

  • training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character
  • orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior
  • self-control

When I hear the word, discipline, I think about being punished. I think about being taught a lesson; fixating on something until I get it right. But for the purpose of self-love, discipline is the act of being focused and committed to something, and I am that ‘something.’ Essentially, discipline is a form of self-control. If you can control your own mind, you will have more control over your life.

This week’s primary focus is to do just that, focusI struggle with commitment, so you guys are in for a treat this week. I’ll check in with you tomorrow about how things are going. Also, stay tuned for me to reveal exactly what I’m doing (besides the guidelines) to stay disciplined.