As I sat on a plane next to a new connection during descent into Los Angeles, I felt a sense of gratitude for my life. I was overcome by an essence of completion of one chapter, and the beginning of another. 2017 was coming to an end, and I was content. That very sentiment brought about motivation to experience more life. As I reflected on the year, I searched for the words to describe it, considering the events that had transpired. The overall theme that replayed in my mind was balance.
In 2017, I was a passenger of life, operating on auto-pilot for most of the year. However, I never let things stray too far one way. I took on a great deal, yet I never forgot how critical it was for me to remain myself, balancing things such as work, travel, and relationships. Self discovery fueled 2017, as balance drove me to the finish line. It was the first year, in a long time that I simply let myself feel. I felt lust, love, pain, confidence, gratitude, motivation, joy, clarity, and accountability. As the countdown to midnight begins, here’s my 2017 recap, an ode to balance.
I just wanted to live and be debt free,
I wanted to trade shopping sprees
for moments in new places,
around new and familiar faces,
I wanted every interaction,
and every relationship to have meaning,
In the greater scheme of things,
I wanted my words to flow like water
And touch someone,
and be a catalyst for change
in my own life, and in theirs.
To success, I wanted to take the stairs.
I focused on myself,
without alienating others.
I showed up, participated.
I grabbed a board and skated.
I sacrificed a little bit of sleep
for more paper,
I slept in some Saturdays and reflected,
On what was, and what could be.
I became a brunch ambassador
On the weekends.
For men I wanted,
I offered my genuine gaze.
For men who deserted me,
I turned the page.
I had problems,
and I turned them into art.
I went to San Francisco,
Drank whiskey and rode BART.
Embraced my inner poet,
which was there all along,
I fantasized of writing songs,
About the journey to inner peace.
I said goodbye to my naked body,
sacrificed my index finger,
To cease judging others,
And my right arm,
became an ode to balance,
between my mind, body, and soul.
I looked to 2018,
confident, secure, and hopeful,
that I would be the change,
that I wanted to see.